Madman Across the Water

I … am not a fish.

I know that comes as a shock to some of you, because if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you know how comfortable I am in the water. It is, in fact, like a second home to me. I love having the wave’s splash over my face as I try to swim. It’s especially nice when the seas are just a bit higher than your head, so that when you come up for a breath the water is right in front of you … I tell you brothers and sisters … is there anything more calming than being that close to the water?

It’s … well …

Soothing is what it is. It’s kind of like being coddled in your mother’s arms on a cold December night in front of a roaring fire.

But you know what’s even better?

Being in the water with 500 or so of your closest friends.

The playfulness that ensues while seeing who can get to the turn buoy first. The happiness you feel as your brothers grab your feet to try to propel them faster through the water. The occasional love tap of your buddy’s arm as it crashes onto the top of your head. The happiness it brings to grapple for your goggles as they float to the bottom of the lake (or ocean) while people are coming at you like you just yelled “Polo!!!”.

Yes …  the swim is quite magical …

If you’re lucky, and we always end up being lucky because we are, in fact, in the water, there will be seaweed floating through the swim zone. Even better, under water sea grass! Nothing completes a relaxing swim portion than the occasional feel of something brushing past your legs, or across your face, while you’re trying to remain calm. Yes, the only thing better would be to have actual wildlife swim next to you. If luck holds, and you know it will, it will be the rarest of all wildlife, the elusive jellyfish. The exhilarating rush of the slight pinching feeling as they let you know they are around, as if they are saying “Hey! Hi there! Come on and play with the Jelly Man! We ALL float down here!!”

Yes, they are charming creatures. In addition to being able to play with them, afterwards you may get to experience the pleasant experience of having a complete stranger pee on you.

Now, really, what has two thumbs and LOVES being peed on by strangers???

THIS GUY!!!

So, no, I am not a fish. I wish I was, because then I could spend my whole life in the ocean. Frolicking, and laughing, and playing with my fish buddies. Maybe nibbling on the toes of the triathletes swimming over me.

Everyone knows
that Triathlete toes
are the best meals in the sea!

Right??

I am ready …

Let’s go swim!

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