Donkey on the Edge

I expect that this post may upset some people, but at this point I am over some of it and I really need to speak my piece a little. Let me start by saying that I believe 95% of the people that roam social media do not do it to cause waves, or to intentionally hurt people’s feelings, but there is that 5% that seems to live on the effect their words irritate and divide people. I am not sure what causes this need in some to post statements, or send tweets, with forethought of causing trouble, but they are out there. We all know them. They take some small bit of information heard on some fringe website and restate as if it is fact. These are the same people that post comments on a Facebook string about an article they have not even taken the time to read. I acknowledge that “this is America” and we are entitled to our opinions, but if you are part of a group, whether in Real Life or in Web Life, you have a slight obligation to “play well with others” and if you don’t, much like Duck Dynasty’s Robertson, the room “owner” has the right to remove you. The problem is that, more often than not, these are the same people who are the sacred cows; the inner circle. We are not only not allowed to remove these people, we are also not allowed to question their motives nor (God Forbid) disagree with them without facing the onslaught of their minions.
This happened to me a little while ago after Rich Roll interviewed Durian Rider on his podcast. I don’t listen to Rich all the time because, to be blunt, his manner is a bit plodding and dry for my taste, even though he normally has good insight and information, but I did purposely go to this podcast because I wanted to hear his reaction to Durian Rider. For those that don’t know, Durian Rider is a fruitarian advocate and states (key word being “states”) that he eats 30 pounds of bananas each day. After listening to the episode I was a bit … unfulfilled … because I felt that Rich let him off easy. I understand the point that you respect your guest, but I think you have an obligation to your audience to call out “wrong thinking” when it is presented. If you do not openly and clearly disagree with a guest, then your audience assumes you agree with them … obviously not the case here. So I went to the Rich Roll website and voiced this opinion on the episode comment string.
Holy Christ you’d think I shot the pope. How DARE I question the GREAT Rich Roll?????
So, anyway, even though I had stated I would not weight myself for the month of January I felt myself getting heavier. As someone who has been heavy a great deal of his adult life, we know when the weight is coming back on. We feel … off. So A couple of days ago I stepped on the scale. Sure enough, it read 248.2 pounds. That is 3 pounds heavier than I weighed on 12/30. Now I know 3 pounds doesn’t mean that much, but when I stopped weighing myself I had already noticed an upward trend. I had gotten down to 237 at one point but since then had started to creep back up on the scale. So that 3 pounds on Wednesday was followed by a weight in Thursday of 248.5, and this morning of 250.2. All of this while eating very clean and training consistently.
As one person put it on Facebook, I am the ideal example of “the Calorie Myth”.
Obviously my mindset at this moment is not that great. It is very frustrating, especially since my diet and training is shared quite openly with the social media world. I don’t mind sharing, because I always looked at it like I was putting it out there in the hopes that it would help others see that they were not alone in the struggle and that you can have these struggles and still participate and compete. It’s not an excuse to give up, plop on the couch, and waste away the rest of your life. Regardless of what you may think or feel, the majority do have people that care about us, depend on us, and need us to be around as long as possible, so contributing to an early demise is a bit selfish in my mind.
The problem with sharing, though, is it elicits responses, and normally from people who don’t really know you. Personally, I love reading the responses most of the time, because I know that they normally are trying to help. Yes, you do get the few assclowns on occasion who try to be funny or snarky, but they are rare. No, the frustration is that most comments come from people who have no idea about the thyroid cancer or the hormonal issues they cause, so they focus on the caloric intake number. I have tried to explain manytimes that I eat when I am hungry. I don’t eat just for the sake of eating or because I am trying to hit an arbitrary calorie number. This may be “wrong thinking” on my part. Kendra actually brought up a point in one string that has made me start thinking hard on it, that my brain is so used to caloric restriction that I may have programmed myself to not eat enough and to feel full even if I am not. I think there may be some validity in that comment and I am reading up on it and thinking hard on it.
The most recent frustration came from an actual professional resource, Mr. Jimmy Moore. I enjoy Jimmy’s podcast, Living La Vida Lo Carb, own a few of his books, and always learn something from him. The issue started with a question (via Facebook of course) from someone else about thyroid issues (which always peaks my interest. They tagged him in the string to get some input from him and he posted a few links to episodes where he had talked about thyroid health. All well and good, but I jumped in at that point and asked about the issue of having nothyroid gland at all, explaining (once again) that I had cancer and the gland was removed entirely. His response was “well, you’re all good then!”
What the hell kind of response was that?? Talk about being dismissive of a pretty serious, at least to me, issue. It was a little disturbing.
I did not respond, but as always I had my back up. Miss Tuesday responded to him that it was not helpful to post that response and that she just wished if people didn’t know they would just say “I don’t know”. I agree with this. But I am TIRED of getting the response “well … you’re a tough case”. I know I am a tough case, but is there seriously no one that understands the issue?? No one?? Well, Tuesday and I spoke back and forth (isn’t it funny how we message back and forth to others and we consider that “speaking”?) about the issue and she directed me to a site by a woman in Texas who seems to have the same issues. Melissa “Melicious” Joulwan at www.TheClothesMakeTheGirl.comseemed to have the same issue (though she only lost a portion of her thyroid and the remaining just “stopped working”). I will be getting in touch with her and sending a link to this post. Maybe she can offer some insight.
I guess I am just a bit on edge lately. Maybe it’s a post holiday blues type of thing, but my energy is just low right now. I have been getting out and training but it’s not with the effort I would like to have (even though my times and paces seem to be improving … go figure) and I can feel the weight on my frame. Something needs to change. I think I may tweak a few workouts to start including some Higher Intensity intervals and some different types of weight training (a la an idea from Mary Hunter). Maybe this will re-boot the engine and get me back to a higher energy level. I know something is off though. After dealing with this crap for so many years I can tell when my body is “not right”.
I just hope it is fixable …
Swim Calm
Bike Strong
Run Steady

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