High Plains Drifter

I have had this feeling of drifting lately. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what the feeling is, but it’s disturbing and uncomfortable and I want it to stop. Now.
Maybe it’s more a feeling of stagnation? Professionally I am moving backwards, but that’s a common thing in today’s world. I know I am not alone in this area. I was making more money per year when I left Healthy Start in 2008 than I am making now. That is just sad. I spend the majority of my day at work bored to tears, doing work that is so mundane that I am ADDING things to each project just to make it more interesting to me. I think part of the problem here, maybe most of the problem, is that no matter how hard you try to UP the level of information available and how we use it, it goes unheeded and actually looked down upon (Lord help us if we actually shine a light on a true problem). As a Business Analyst, you would hope that you would actually be ANALYZING the data … but no … it’s just a glorified report builder position.
Just give us the numbers John … we don’t really care what they MEAN!!
Oh well … 
… so we drift on … day to day … waiting for the opportunity to come that will allow us to be happy in our chosen profession. 
In my training life I have the same feeling. I feel myself falling back into old habits (which I recently wrote about). My muse is not in the area so I am attempting to stay on task on my own. Not so easy. I feel like I need to find others to meet after work to keep me on track, but it feels strange. Is it cheating to train with others? A few people on Facebook are trying to help me (Patricia that means you) and it does help, but not the same as someone waiting for you at the gym, or at the park. 
Part of it is (oh no … is he going to bring this up AGAIN? Yes. He. Is.) my weight. It seems no matter what I do my weight will not go down. And it is to the point now that the little voice in my head that I had thought was dead is back … John … why are you depriving yourself of that ice cream?? …. you’re not losing weight anyway so why bother????

It sounds exactly like Rick … 

I hate Rick …   
It might just be the time of the year too. The days are shorter … getting dark by the time I leave work … so any true riding is out until the weekend. My son is still struggling through school, and it’s his senior year, so the stress of getting the credits in that he needs to graduate is on everyone, not just him. I have this nightmare that he’s going to end up like my brother, living with his mother in his 40’s because he can’t find a job, getting fat playing video games. 
I know this is an odd post … so forgive me for it. Even Fat Slow Triathletes need to vent now and again right? 

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