A Mental Bulimic

I have a lot of readers on this blog, much more than I ever thought would be interested enough in my ramblings and observations. Especially since I started writing something, or try to, every other day, and then when I post it feeds through twitter to ever Facebook site I am a part of. It brought more readers in, and it continues to astound me when I see the hits jump within minutes of a new post going up. My Twitter account has increased also. Three months ago I had a total of 34 “followers”. Now I have over 230. Not sure how that happened. But what’s even stranger is another whole issue:
Why Do I Care????

The blog and Twitter, and Facebook for that matter, were started as a way for me to “get things out of my head”. I am a sort of mental bulimic. If something is in my head it has a way of coming out of my mouth, often at times that are the most appropriate (i.e. in front of the boss). Part of this is just that I am at an age that I have grown weary about keeping things to myself anymore, so when I see something that is just stupid (amazing how often that happens when working for local government) I HAVE to say something. It’s mental preservation also, because it gets in my head and festers there (fester fester fester … rot rot rot) until it ends up coming out at a totally wrong time, and often directed at people or a person who had nothing to do with the original incident. So, much like rubbing a dogs nose in his mess immediately after the accident so he knows what he has done, I say what I am thinking immediately.
Doesn’t make me extremely popular.
I like what my manager said (who has been on the receiving end of a few comments) … “Yes John, we know you were right but you can’t just say it!”. My answer to that is “Why Not??”. As I told her, if she said it, like a good manager should, then I wouldn’t have to say it, but because she won’t point these things out, I feel like I HAVE to, so they can’t come back at us after it fails and say “why didn’t you say something??” And they HAVE done that so don’t think I am making that up! LOL … 
My most recent statement to them, after seeing a co-worker spending all of his time setting up iPads for management and director level staff, was “If the County cannot afford to give staff raises for the last 6 years how can they afford to purchase a $400 iPad for every manager level and up staff in the county?”
Still haven’t heard an answer on THAT one … 
So, I digressed a bit there, to get back on point, I started these things to hold myself accountable. To be able to write down my issues, my goals, my problems with training, my successes, in order to keep myself in line. But somewhere along the way it has become almost a second job. I look forward to writing. I jot down ideas, saying, odd thoughts as they pop into my noodle, in little notebooks and scratches of paper. Sometimes it is just a title idea, and the blog builds around that (back in my music playing days I used the same technique for writing songs … title first … lyrics later). This post is an example … my first title was “Follow You Follow Me”, which was the title of a Genesis song back in 1978. If you had not noticed yet, most of my blog titles are songs and/or lyrics. I have music on my brain. I changed this one to “Mental Bulimic” because I heard that in a promo for a new show on TV and thought it was funny, and fitting.  
At some point it has become important to increase my “follows”, and I have noticed the number of “followers” some of my peers have, and it confuses me. As I stated, and you have probably noticed, I blog at least every other day, and sometimes twice in the same day, and my “followers” have increased (though they have stagnated recently), but when I look at a couple of my peers (i.e. people I know personally) they have two to three times as many followers as I do, yet they rarely write, and when they do it is often a paragraph.
I’d like to say I don’t know WHY this is … but we all know why. They are females. And guys follow women no matter what, as if following another guys posts makes them somehow “less”, or they think they will have a shot if they follow the woman (I am a guy, albeit an old one. I know how we think). It’s the same way on Daily Mile (a social site to log work outs etc. and a GREAT one. Met KC and Summer through that site …. see? I follow women too!!). It’s like a joke with Jennifer and me now, because there is one guy on there from Ohio that no matter when or how she posts, he is the FIRST responder to her. Now he is on my list as well, but never EVER responds to my workouts. It’s kind of comical, because I am not the only one that noticed it. 
It is my dream to be a writer. I know it’s a dumb dream, especially for someone of my age, but I cannot imagine a better way to make a living than to write every day. I have been encouraged in the past by friends, and even family, to write, but with life usually in the way it is not something that is probable. My head is filled with half ideas and thoughts, but nothing I could ever fill out to a point where it would keep my interest writing for more than a week or so, and if it can’t keep my interest, how can it keep the interest of others?
So, for the 230 or so of you that read this, I appreciate the fact that you like it enough to keep coming back to it, and I will keep doing it until I feel I have nothing else to say (not likely to happen according to most people). I will try to stay on point, more than this post was, and not ramble too much. I will try to not piss anyone off (although I do without trying) and I promise there will NEVER be anything political on this blog (they are ALL idiots anyway). All I ask in return is that you make a comment from time to time (no one comments anymore) and share the link with others who might enjoy it.
Cuz I NEED those followers!!!

One thought on “A Mental Bulimic

  • September 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm
    Permalink

    There is no such thing as a dumb dream.
    “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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