(thanks to George Carlin)
This is my list:
- Guys in their fifties named “Skip”.
- Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card.
- An airline pilot who has on two different shoes.
- A proctologist with poor depth perception.
- A pimp who drives a Toyota Corolla.
- A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination.
- Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats.
- Anyone who mentions Jesus more than three hundred times in a two-minute conversation.
- A dentist with blood in his hair.
- Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals.
- A funeral director who says “Hope to see you folks again real soon!”
- Girls who get drunk and throw up at breakfast.
- A man with only one lip.
- A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop.
- People who actually know the second verse to “The Star-Spangled Banner”.
- Any lawyer who refers to the police as the “Federales”.
- A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin!
- A brain surgeon with “Born to Lose” tattooed on his hands.
- Couples whose children’s names all start with the same initials.
- A man in a hospital gown directing traffic.
- A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand.
- People who have large gums and small teeth.
- Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet.
- And any man whose arm hair completely covers his wristwatch.
All right, that’s enough of that.