People I Can Do Without in my Life

(thanks to George Carlin)

This is my list: 

  • Guys in their fifties named “Skip”. 
  • Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card. 
  • An airline pilot who has on two different shoes. 
  • A proctologist with poor depth perception. 
  • A pimp who drives a Toyota Corolla. 
  • A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination. 
  • Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats. 
  • Anyone who mentions Jesus more than three hundred times in a two-minute conversation.
  •  A dentist with blood in his hair. 
  • Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals. 
  • A funeral director who says “Hope to see you folks again real soon!” 
  • Girls who get drunk and throw up at breakfast. 
  • A man with only one lip. 
  • A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop. 
  • People who actually know the second verse to “The Star-Spangled Banner”. 
  • Any lawyer who refers to the police as the “Federales”. 
  • A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin! 
  • A brain surgeon with “Born to Lose” tattooed on his hands. 
  • Couples whose children’s names all start with the same initials. 
  • A man in a hospital gown directing traffic. 
  • A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand. 
  • People who have large gums and small teeth. 
  • Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet. 
  • And any man whose arm hair completely covers his wristwatch. 

All right, that’s enough of that.

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