Chaffing; Or How a Stray Seam Made Me Cry Like a Girl

My Protector
So, I have been wondering exactly how to post about this, on whether it was OK to write about, and have decided that the majority of the people reading this have been where I was, so they would appreciate my pain. So here goes ….
During the bike ride at Crystal River, about half way through, I started to notice a …. pinch …. in an area of a man’s body where pinching is usually not a very good feeling (with a few exceptions, but I digress). As many of you know, taking care of this issue in the middle of a ride is not an easy thing to do. I adjusted how I was sitting … I tried standing and swiping at it like it was a bug, but it held steadfast, like a ladybug on a car windshield. The seam in my bike shorts dug in and refused to relinquish ground as each downward stroke on my right peddle dug it deeper into my tender flesh.
After getting off the bike I stealthy stuck my hand down the front of my shorts to readjust, and the sting, dear readers, brought tears to my eyes. So I quickly tucked it and took off running, hoping in vain that it would find the right spot eventually and settle down. Eventually it stopped hurting (I think all my nerve endings were frayed by this time) and I finished the run, and actually had forgotten about it.
Until I got in the shower ….
Unless you have experienced this first hand there is no way to adequately describe the feeling of fresh water, hot water at that, hitting raw, newly exposed skin on the tip of an appendage that has precious little skin to begin with. I screamed like I had never screamed before. 
Dogs howled….. 
Women and Children wept…. 
Car alarms went off in the parking lot…. 
When I awoke I was curled in the corner of the shower, protecting my sensitive parts with a washcloth as best I can.
The shorts are now in the trash … I have purchased protection. I am even thinking about double layering, perhaps even a jock strap. Call me a wimp. I don’t care. That HURT. And I have a nice little scar now. I have been told that chicks dig scars, and it is my first as a result of triathlons, so maybe it will be cool to have. I can always say I caught shrapnel during my tour in DaNang. I need a purple heart for this one!

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