I got into this training regimen because I woke up one day and was tired of being tired. That is the bottom line. I dished out money to a doctor that was not in my network, and it proved to be the right decision. He found issues with my health and the way my body worked (or didn’t work in this case) that no one else had mentioned or even looked at. So, along with the help of friends that were on the same path I was, I started biking last September. That led to a humbling experience in the Cure on Wheels where I only went 15 of the 25 miles before my bike failed, and then my body failed me. I was struggling to maintain 12 mph. Now 16 mph is my slow pace. It’s an improvement, with still much room for more.
I added to that running and swimming, with the goal of triathlons. I now have one under my belt, although I struggled, especially with the swim. The Open Water still kicks my ass for some reason, totally a mind thing, and hopefully I will get over it soon and be able to perform better. But as usual as one problem is taken care of others cropped up.
I have the heart to do this. I WANT to do this. I like the lifestyle. I like the people I have met for the most part. They are some of the most supportive people I have ever been around. The problem is not my mind or spirit, it is my 47 year old body. I have a great run (for me) but pay for it with a swollen right knee and hip. It’s the ultimate catch-22.
“Doctor why does my knee hurt?”
“Because running is BAD for you”
“But I have to run or I gain weight!”
“Then your knees will hurt. especially YOUR knees because even though you have lost weight you are still a fat bastard!”
So on I run …. hobbling when I have to …. but still pushing forward …. hating it while I do it …. but LOVING it after I am done, because I am still filled with the hope that one day I will go out and instead of focusing on my form every step, or counting the time until I can stop, I will focus instead on the enjoyment of the run and fall in love with it like I see so many other people have done. The image of Wellington pushing through a Kona Ironman with a hige smile on her face gives me hope that this will happen one day. My body will continue to age, as body’s do, but maybe some of this pounding is making time reverse, even by just a few years. And maybe at some point certain family members will see that this endeavor was actually a good thing and not “a waste of time”, but I really don’t care. I have lived without their full support for most of my life. I don’t really need it now.